Love is the Archimedean Fulcrum

“Love begins wherever we can truly do something for each other.”
Gabriele Brueggemann, long term member of Tamera

“Learning to live in the right way means learning love. True love does not make claims of possession or any conditions. To my knowledge, the only thing that really heals people is unconditional love. Love is what gives life its meaning.”
Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross, psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies

There are two states of being: one with a closed heart and one with an open heart. Love is the opening of the heart. The worst truth about the patriarchal era is that it prevented love. The misery of western society lies in the fact that no permanent love is possible, because from very early on open hearts are bombarded with unimaginable disappointments and cruelty. At first children have open hearts, but little by little, they close them off because adults today usually have no idea how to deal with open hearts. Events in childhood are often like a drop of acetone that falls on an amoeba. It closes off its openings and pulls back its tentacles. This pre-programs the organism to close itself off in the future too. In their first love, youth have an open heart, but often they soon experience that it is better to close it off again, because the experience hurt too much. Adults are usually only prepared to open their hearts fully under certain precisely calculated conditions. Since these conditions are incompatible with true love, their heart closes off by itself and then remains more or less closed forever.

A humane world can only come about through open hearts. In this sense, we can say that the determining condition for the realization of the sacred matrix on Earth is love.

Love’s Historic Destiny

However, this also marks the beginning of the drama, for none of us has closed off his/her heart without a reason. We are taking a risk by opening it up again. We are afraid to do so because, generation after generation, we have had bad experiences when we have done so. The greater the longing, the greater the fear. Ultimately, billions of people have learned to conquer their longings. In its place we put vicarious fulfillment that is compatible with the system: entertainment, the media, consumption, tourism, football – and sometimes war.

Many bad things result from unfulfilled love. Revenge arises from a love that has been betrayed. Clinging, blackmail, jealousy, the fear of abandonment, distrust and mutual spying on each other: these are elements of a modern syndrome affecting our love relationships, and they are the result of bad experiences during a time when our hearts were still open. Wherever there is a spark and, in a fraction of a second, the heart wants to open up, the inner opponent is often faster. Instead of love, the result is anger or fear, because the pain, which once was connected to love, is stored in the subconscious. For millennia, the fate of love has been tied to disappointment and separation, betrayal and lies, suspicion and cruelty, murder and manslaughter. This resulted in a collective psychological structure which reacted to love with the fear of separation, to the fear of separation with false promises of faithfulness and to false promises of faithfulness with anger and revenge. This fateful connection lies at the foundation of today’s society and of its concepts of love and rules of marriage, its morals and its strategies of war. There can be no peace on Earth as long as there is war in love.

Betrayed and unfulfilled love constitutes a core element of the old matrix. Should a heart opening occur in spite of these conditions then we often soon see the corresponding by-products that are a part of the old matrix: unbridled passion, claims of ownership, fear of abandonment, comparisons with others, competition, violence and revenge. Operas, tragedies, movies and magazines are full of them. So are therapeutic advice centers, hospitals, psychiatric wards and cemeteries. Here we find a horror without end – a horror that nobody can bear to look at for very long. It is too terrible. For most people who are caught in the structure of the times there is no escape, no perspective, no chance for love. Even fifteen-year-olds sometimes take their own lives because they have realized this. (…)

Love Itself is the Greatest Healing Power

As long as love was stuck in the restraints of the old matrix, it was a destructive force. The most beautiful friendships between men have broken up over a woman. The most beautiful friendships between women have broken up over a man. In reality, however, love’s healing power is greatly superior to all other healing powers. It is the true elixir of healing. One could easily think that we are here facing a hopeless situation. On the one hand healing can only occur through love, and on the other hand, love leads us into all the conflicts that we wanted to escape from. But this calculation is wrong, for it operates with a false image of love. Healing is a part of the new matrix, not the old one. We must therefore seek the image of love that leads to healing in the new, not the old matrix.

One of the experiences of the new matrix is the discovery of the higher task for which one has incarnated this time as well as a corresponding professional category in the newly emerging human community. As long as I only exist as a private person, I will never be able to solve the secret of love. Love, even when it appears between two human beings, is always a universal, divine power and can therefore only be realized in a universal state of being. Love does not require the fixation of two pairs of eyes on each other. Instead, it requires parallel eyes directed toward a joint higher goal. Love is more than a feeling – it is a state of being. It comes from the field of connection and not from calculation. Almost all people alive today find themselves – either consciously or unconsciously – in a field of calculation when it comes to love. The inner dialogue then goes something like this: “If I allow myself to totally love this person … and if then somebody else comes along and also loves her/him … and if s/he loves the other person more than s/he loves me … if s/he is number one for me, but I’m not her/his number one … nonoIcannotandIdon’twanttoandbrrbooo.” That is the thought which keeps the heart closed. Free love has always failed because of this inner structure.

Creating a New Space of Life

Inner and outer peacework requires that we integrate the issue of love in a new way. The groups of the past did not know how to deal with the power of this issue. Their mistake consisted of seeking a solution for the issue of love where it could not be found. Free love, which does not calculate, compare, or ask for something in return, is a part of the sacred matrix. It can therefore not be achieved with ideas and methods that come from the old matrix. We cannot earn it through arduous inner transformation exercises. Instead, it manifests to the extent that we step into the new matrix of life. We find the matrix of life, fulfillment, (…), guidance and love also outside of couple relationships. The same is true of the beings of nature, and by engaging with them, we can learn about the secrets of love. This makes it easier to understand and accept love in the concrete situation with a person that one loves.

The Healing Biotope project began in 1978 with the idea of establishing a project for love in which lovers who have separated from each other can meet each other anew, again and again. We sometimes simply called it a “project for saving love.” It was clear to me that we had to take a completely new path for this to occur, and that we could not just remain focused on the topic of love. Ultimately, it was a question of creating an entirely new life space, making it possible to switch over from the old to the new matrix. (…)

We have become acquainted with the new matrix in many areas of our project and we have seen to what extent it differs from all old concepts. We have also seen how easily it comes to us once we are ready for it. We have gotten to know it when dealing with animals, when communicating with rats and snakes, when attempting to influence the weather and when healing injuries and illnesses. We have experienced how a community in need sticks together, how dangers are overcome jointly, how financial bottlenecks can suddenly be overcome and how spiritual helping forces keep intervening when our own power is not strong enough.

Transitioning into the Matrix of Trust

In spite of this, it took a long time for the first ones to dare to fully come down on the side of love. Yet, from the point of view of the matrix of life, it is so simple. If you notice that you love a person, then follow this love without any conditions. Whatever is done out of love, is done rightly. One of Vincent van Gogh’s key phrases was you must begin by trusting. As for the rest, “let God do” – the sacred matrix will do the rest for you. It is not difficult to do this – it is easy. Difficulties can be overcome through ease. Follow love and take the risk of running into turbulence of the soul, which you will then probably go through. You should know that the person whom you truly and honestly love is probably truly and honestly loved by some others, too. It would be strange if this were not the case. Endure this tension, and remain faithful to love. You will have entirely new thoughts, and you will find a joy and a relief that you did not think was possible. You will make discoveries that you hardly can communicate to anyone. You may seem to be deep in thoughts or even gloomy, but a completely new kind of joy is making its way through you and your life. Ask your friends not to be surprised if you act a bit strange or seem slightly deranged for a while. Tell them that you enter a plea of insanity, and explain to them why. Learn to remain connected, even in the midst of this turbulence.

The right thing happens automatically when you know the sacred matrix and if you are increasingly willing to follow it. Entirely new knowledge becomes available to you. Jealousy, too, is a matter of knowledge. From a certain level of knowledge on, you can no longer be jealous. Now you know that jealousy is not a part of love, and you know this not only theoretically, but also in a cellular way, with every cell in your body. The chains of information in your genetic code now rearrange themselves so that there is no longer any place for the information of jealousy. Your whole body knows this. You also know that love has to do with surrender, with giving, serving and helping and not with demanding and forcing. The old patterns of mutual blackmail no longer exist, and the old ideas of separation, competition and jealousy have fallen away from you. The old matrix has disappeared all on its own.

I have repeatedly experienced how easily these things occur. It does not require any therapy – one only needs unshakable patience and growing knowledge. One could say that one needs to be absolutely faithful to the issue of love. The sacred matrix knows that fear of abandonment and precautionary measures are not a part of love. At some point we know it, too. Thus begins a new and deeper healing path with entirely new perspectives. From this point on, we begin to establish the Healing Biotope.

You read an edited excerpt from the book: The Sacred Matrix by Dieter Duhm.